I spent a lot of time waiting for my life to change, waiting for things to turn around, waiting for something!
But nothing happened. Every single day life kept moving in the same direction I didn’t want go. That’s when I realised if I truly want to see some change in my life; I have to understand that it is impossible to do that without taking ownership of my life and responsibility for my actions.
If you feel lost, directionless and a bit hopeless—this could be a big reason why.
Sometimes we don’t even realise that we aren’t taking responsibility for our own life. Sometimes we just go along with the tides, not proactively choosing where we are going and then end up somewhere we never wanted to be in the first place. Think about it like a fast flowing river, your life is just like that. It will just lead you places you don’t want to go unless you purposefully and persistently intervene and swim against it.
What do you want your life to be? What meaning does your life have or what’s your purpose? What are you looking for? Whatever it is, you cannot magically get it. You have to make that one decision, and take whole responsibility for it. Take ownership of it, cause no one else will. Don’t wait for anything else, or anyone else. You are enough to make it happen. And once you’ve decided you’re going to change your life around, do it!
People who are successful, happy, intelligent or talented, didn’t just get lucky. That’s what I used to think, but I don’t anymore. Cause you know what I realised? Privilege might have a role to play and definitely gives some people more or better opportunities than others. But we all have opportunities (small or big). You know you’ve had your share, and I know I’ve had my fair share of opportunities too. What you do with those opportunities has nothing to do with privilege but everything to do with personal determination. I’ve blown past so many great opportunities in my life by focussing on my solo pity party about how hard life is. When I should have gone out there, grabbed that opportunity and made my life what I want it to be.
It’s not easy to do this, I know. But I’m sure as hell going to try, and you should too!
The three painful lessons I learn when it comes to taking responsibility
1) Stop making excuses
Your mind will constantly feed you lies and tell you how you cannot do it or worse you don’t have to do it. But it’s all an excuse. And all of it is fear-based. Fear tries so hard to convince you so that you don’t even try. Stop listening to it! Cause if you try even if you don’t win, you will get something out of it.
2) Stop blaming other people
No matter how much someone has wronged you or sabotaged you, it is pointless holding on to it and not moving on. Blame is a trap. It feels like a release, something to pin our problems on, but it offers no solution. The person you blame is not going to help you out of your situation. So don’t waste your time blaming, because it’s worse.
3) Don’t wait for anyone else
If you have been expecting other people to help you or save you, or you’re waiting on someone to begin this journey with you. You have to realise that relying on anybody else is not going to get you anywhere. If you want to change your life, the first thing you have to understand is that it is your life. You have sole ownership of it. And anything that happens as a consequence of your actions is because of a decision you made. Instead of waiting on other people to help you out or begin, take this opportunity to lead your own life. You will not regret it.
Feature image by Quintin Gellar